Very Mary-Kate

Recap

OMG you guys! I’m back! Did you miss me?

Clone

Comet is back! Thank you, science!

Cheating

Cheating is so hard! I need to learn how to cheat at it.

Woody Allen

Amir guest stars as Mary-Kate’s Godfather.

Trick-or-Treat

Tricking is less calorific than treating.

Hoffmoween

Phil Hoffman’s scariest as himself.

Excuses

My dog ate this video description.

Presentation

The best presentation in the history of history class.

Driving

Learning to drive is as easy as eating pie. It’s very hard.

Woody Allen 2

Where there’s a will, there’s a way too talkative.

Naked

Bodyguard’s in his birthday suit.

Fired

Bodyguard gets a pink slip. Oooooh, pink!

Hired

One girl’s trash is another girl’s bodyguard.

Photo Shoot

A face that only her sister could love.

Bath

Rub-a-dub-dub, Ashley wants some love.

Presentation 2

I put my Louisiana Purchase on my Amex.

Conference

Bodyguard and Professor go head-to-fat-head.

Sexy Time

Ashley won’t take gross for an answer.

Sick

It’s not bulimia when you haven’t eaten.

Confession

Mary-Kate gets D and dirty with G almighty.

Church

The lord is my shepherd, but lambswool makes me itchy.

Vegas (1)

Vegas (2)

Vegas (3)

Deserts are even scarier than desserts.

Vegas (4)

Mary-Kate tweets her way to safety.

Gold Rush

Is a gold rush when Tiffany’s has a sale?

Presentation 3

Always present on an empty stomach.

Raise Your Hand

I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.

Magazines

Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.

Jetlag

Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.

Santa

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on differen

Presentation 4

War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.

Jewish Looking Girl

She’s a rock star of David.

Layers

It’s freezing cold under all these layers.

Call My Phone

Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.

Trenta

Start the morning with a gallon of joe.

Evil Dragon

It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.

Police

I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.

Mug Shot

Is this the duckface of a criminal?

Jail

Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.

Dishwasher

Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.

Pillow Talk

Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.

Sex and Sexuality (Very Maggie Smith)

Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.

Sleeping in Class

Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.

Professor’s Presentation

Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.

Slumber Party

First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.

Pills

Take once per day with a picture of food.

Comet

Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.

Draw Something

Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.

The Case of the Cracked Cup (Very Maggie Smith 2)

When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.

Summer House

Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.

Manicure

Mary-Kate’s nail art should hang in a museum.

Lost in Translation

Mary-Kate makes a French connection.

Breaking Up

Mary-Kate is torn between her muscleman and her Frenchman.

Dinner with Hoffman

The Oscar creeper sabotages Mary-Kate and Sarkozy’s date.

Instagram

Who wants daiquiris??? #nofilter

Evaluations

Mary-Kate writes her teacher evaluations, and Fat Professor forms a rebuttal.

Shrooms

Mary-Kate and Jewish-Looking Girl trip into friendship.

Conference Call

Mary-Kate needs help with a homework assignment, and enlists the help of everyone she knows.

Drinking Game

Mary-Kate creates her own drinking game, and quickly gets sick of it.

Bad Connection

Bodyguard and Mary-Kate’s relationship takes a turn for the staticky.

Presentation 5

Mary-Kate gives a presentation about the Wig Party.

Diamonds Are My Only Friends